Monday, April 5, 2010


There was a moment that occurred today in which I had a very real and clear observation about something.

Nothing will ever ever ever be able to replace "home" and the people, places, moments, and memories that make it such.

St. Louis, I love you.
And I am so very glad to be kicking my feet up and staying a while.

I am inexpressibly happy to be here.
I am inexpressibly content with life.
I am inexpressibly thankful for so much.

The last few days have had me feeling incredibly nostalgic for phases in life and the people that occupied them. Not in a sad way, though, but in a way that adores being able to look back and see just how much I have grown.
And how much has come to me that was completely unexpected.
And it's still happening.

There is newness everywhere.
Why have I refused to see?

Because all of life is about renewal.
All things being made new.

It was Easter today- I feel rather strange about this being afterthought- but though my day was completely different from a typical Easter, I felt renewal in every inch of my being. From the sun on my skin all day long, to the redeeming conversations that occurred over and over, and everything in between. We communed on a blanket on Art Hill. We talked of shark-shaped kites, Viking metal bands, different kinds of meat, and we talked about the Lord.
People came and went.
We saw the sun set.
We were at peace.

There is newness everywhere.
Why have I refused to see?

I will never know what is around the next corner.
So why fret over it until it arrives?
Why even attempt to imagine it in the meantime?
More often than not, that is nothing more than selling myself short through fear.

I am learning.
I promise, I am learning.
There are many who are helping.
And I am so much more thankful for them than I could ever even hope to express.

They are opening my eyes and healing my heart.

There is newness everywhere.
And I refuse to live without it any longer.

"'Home is the place where, when you have to go there,
They have to take you in.'

'I should have called it
Something you somehow haven't to deserve.'"


melinda said...

Seems to me you are inexplicably in love with adjectives. :) Not a bad thing, just a sign of passion. Found your blog today- how have you been? I'm surprised to learn you are in StL- I travel to StL on business every few months. Next time I'm there I'll treat you to dinner. :)

Jamie said...

PLEASE let me know when you come through, my dear.
I am missing you and it would be fantastic to see you!

I'm well... things are lovely.
Life is lovely.
I'm sure you know this too. :)