Monday, September 29, 2008

Her Name is Kelly;

How come I never bothered to ask before?

Why does it take the approaching end of a thing to make us start opening our eyes?

My roommate played the violin for me this morning.
And gave me 6 oz. of this magical herbal tea I asked for.
And clued me in on this incredible man names George Bernanos.

I will miss her a lot.
All three of them.
They have been blessings to me in ways they may never know.

I feel like once I start packing, all of this will suddenly become real.
And I want it to.
But I don't want it to.

I am going to miss my best friend so much that it's practically impossible for me to express.
She is the most inspiring person I have ever met and I love everything about her.
I don't laugh with other people the way I laugh with her.
There is something about our friendship that has freed me and I know that even though this change is going to change us, it will not bring an end to the "us".
In fact, I have a really good feeling about this... in a strange way.
I know it will make us grow... and I am confident that it will make us grow together in unique and unexpected ways.

My life has made a habit out of leaving. Going and coming. Growing and becoming.
Changing changing changing.

Somehow, I am so very very much aware of the Holy Spirit right now.
And of the promises of my Jesus.
And I really didn't expect that I would be.

I have been very little love recently.
I need to figure myself out.
That's a lie.

I need to do what I know I need to do.
What I'm supposed to do.
What I was made to do.
What I am called to do.
And to be.

What is expected of me and not only because it is expected of me.
But because of all the promise it holds.
And the joy that obedience will bring.
That beautiful and brimming joy that is so close I can practically taste it.

Lies... your time is up.
I will not be held by you anymore.
Fear... its time for you to go.
I will not be held by you anymore.

I am falling back in love with my Beloved.
And realizing the beauty in realizing that He is really and truly all that I will ever need.

I can't wait to see what we do together.

Thank You for never ever ever ever ever letting me go.

You are beautiful and I love You.

I really really love You.

P.S. I just saw the most beautiful bike in the world!
Maybe there is hope for South Grand yet...


1 comment:

kabloona said...

I have read just a little of George Bernanos.