Sunday, July 11, 2010

I think I'm in over my head.


I am feeling so much more than I know what to do with or how to deal with or even how to define.
I am desperate for distraction to the point of starvation.
But You won't let me.
You refuse to release me.
You will not let me go- even when my heart is weak, dark, and unwilling.
And all that seems to come out of it is frustration over what I don't know how to explain and anger from a place I don't recognize.

Why have you brought me to this place of such great feeling?
Shall I call it suffering?
Shall I call it need?
Shall I even dare to name it at all?

Take everything from me.
I want nothing to call mine.

I am terrified of what You are showing me.
But I do not want to be afraid.
Only to be filled with abandon.

You have asked it of me, and now I receive it.

I belong to none but You.

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