So, I have this really kickass blog post stuck in the draft stage right now.
Because I have no idea how to say what I want to say in it.
It's all deep and spiritual and full of big words and large concepts about love and freedom. It is EXACTLY what is going on in my heart these days, but again, like I've said before. for some reason the Lord has not let those things reach my head yet. Because once they're there, they're out through my mouth or my fingertips. And they still need to be refined in the furnace of my soul before they can be released to the world.
...Most likely because everything I think is so very right, right at this very moment, is going to be shown to me as foolish over time. Because that's how these things usually work. I'm so ready to talk about everything I think I know, when really, I know very little.
So I should probably just start in a place where I am writing about what I know that I know.
Here's what I know:
I know that in my DWI class last night, I struck up a conversation with a woman about human trafficking. She told me her 16 year old daughter is passionate about it and wants to learn more. I gave her my number so I could have coffee with her daughter soon.
I know that there is redemption in mistakes.
I know that the other night, I sat in my ex-boyfriend's car and explained to him as best as I could about the calling that I feel has been placed on my life, and how I have been consecrated for the Lord.
I know that there is deeper love promised to me than I have ever thought I deserved.
I know that about a week ago at work, I felt drawn to a group of girls who were practicing songs on the front patio. I went outside and asked them if I could worship with them. They're at youth camp this week. I told them I would pray for them while they were there. Leah came into work the day before they left to give me a present Sammy had made me. I had only sat with these girls for 10 minutes. Leah told me they're going to come back every Thursday to have their Bible Study in my store.
I know that the Lord doesn't even need 10 minutes to make His presence known.
There's so much more, but I don't feel like I can continue right now.
Because if there is one thing I have learned over these past few weeks it is that my Beloved is pleased with me at all times- I don't have to be doing anything to please Him for Him to look on me with great pleasure and deep love. As He always does.
And right now, I need to do nothing but let Him look on me with love.
Beloved, I invite You to look on me with love.
And I will sit still.
Because I cannot please You more than I do right now.